I needed this weekend. I needed the sunshine, although 90 degrees looms tomorrow. Eh, I’ll be at work, and the first 90-degree day of the year is not that bad anyway. I needed a warm, moonlit night, sipping rose. The end of last week was harried and not what I wanted it to be. I like to end the week on an up note, doesn’t everyone?
Now that I’m a regular employee, having given up my free-wheeling temp days, I’m starting to pile on the stress. Makes me miss wandering from one office to the next as a contract worker. I’m telling myself, “Keep the temp mindset.” Do a good job, but realize nothing is forever. That’s what the Buddhists say. The weekend spent living my other, non-work life helped a lot.
The other thing that has been weighing on my mind, and heart, is the way-too-early passing of Chris Cornell. I’ve written before about the role music has played in my life, as long as I can remember. I am a true music fan, through and through. I can hear a song and instantly be swept back to another place, another time, immersing myself in nostalgia for three to five minutes. A soundtrack to each stage of my life. So, when I woke up at four in the morning last Thursday, from an uncomfortable slumber, and read the news, I felt like the door had finally closed on my twenties. Nothing but memories now.
I will always cherish that Soundgarden concert in December 1996. Unintentionally getting stuck in the mosh pit. (People were still moshing in 1996?) Finding the perfect spot off to the side of stage, listening and watching Chris Cornell sing, wail, and be all-powerful throughout the night. OK, it wasn’t the perfect show. This was near the end of Soundgarden’s 90s ride, a few months before they broke up. However, my memories are perfect. I was wearing that vintage, pea green men’s shirt, which I found at Magpie. The one I wore everywhere, with everything – jeans, pants, skirts, shorts – in 1996-97. (The one I gave to him when he left for Germany, because he thought it was cool. Big mistake. I want it back!)
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we can never truly know what is in a person’s heart and mind, what he or she is going through in the depths of his or her soul. Ironically, our ability to feel completely alone is what binds us together. Life is fragile. I suppose this is another lesson, teaching me to live in the moment, focus on what I can do today. Again, the Buddhists know a thing or two about life.
So, I cherished this weekend. Yesterday, I sat in the warmth of the late-afternoon sun, and enjoyed a dish of Passion-Guava-Orange-Limoncello frozen yogurt. I haven’t had soft-serve frozen yogurt out of a machine in a while. A nice, simple, calm moment with my thoughts and tropical frozen treat.
I’ve listened to a lot of Chris Cornell and Soundgarden over the past few days. The beauty of being a creative type is you leave behind a piece of yourself. Just as I became a Jimi Hendrix fan after he died, I’m sure generations down the line will become Chris Cornell fans. Something beautiful in that. Speaking of Jimi, his music is the perfect soundtrack for summer-like, lazy days. I think I need to listen to Castles Made of Sand.